Felis Naveda~
ah, Christmas is nearly here once more..a year has just about passed. and because it was such a busy year, it passed twice as fast. i love such years..lol..never seem wasted. [though exams are coming up in January and it's a beeeg cause for worry, i shall put it out of mind for now.. >_<] well, after such a long absence [as usual..:p] it seems a long post is due. i've just had a busy weekend starting from last Friday....
on Friday, two friends and i visited the National Art Gallery. yes, though i like art well enough and have lived in Malaysia all my life, this is the first time i'm visiting our National Art Gallery...Istana Budaya is right next door..i'll drop by one of these days.. ^^ oops, i digress! right, we were there to take some pictures of any chosen artworks for our Intro to Art assignment [theory again..i want practical!! bring on the sketching, painting and whatnot.. >p] we took about 2 hours plus. the plus is because we had to wait for the management office people to get back from Firday prayers so we could get the permission letter from them to take pictures, less than an hour was spent actually taking the pictures and the rest was spent on making our own "photoshoot" :p yes, we be posers..wakaka! from this trip, i discovered that taking the bus isn't so bad after all but i still wouldn't dare travel by bus alone lest i get lost.. heheh
Saturday! went to a Comic Fiesta at Sri Serdaya school with Regina. waii..i saw cosplayers!! *_* lovely costumes i can only dream of..lol..[and even better, someone dressed up as Kaidoh from Prince of Tennis!! *squeal* ^.^] most people were in Naruto, Final Fantasy: Advent Children [many, many Cloud-s with different renditions of his huge sword] and Chobits/Rozen Maiden costumes..then there were two doll booths showing off these pretty, pretty dolls. ok, forget that...they were gorgeous! but guess what, unlimited versions cost minimum RM1k each and the limited ones are at least RM5k! T_T kyaa...hearing those prices was heartbreaking..and this girl had at least 10 of them displayed at her booth. imagine~ but, i was cheered up by buying four keychains with Tennipuri characters on them [i've got Eiji, Fuji, Kaidoh and Ryoma! ^_^] so kawaii! >D we spent some time while Gina was betting for an Otousan hat [cute cat-eyed and eared red felt hat]. you start by betting 20 then if no one bids higher than you after half an hour, it's yours. however, if you pay 50, you get it right away. well, she tried her luck but ended up paying 50 anyway..heheh..those limted edition hats were going like hotcakes..so many people wanted them. i admit, i wanted one too..but didn't have that much to spare.. T_T so i settled for a Suppy hat! ^^ you order it at RM15[but you don't pay first], put your name and address down and they'll send it to you cause they haven't sewn the Suppy eyes on yet. i want them to send it to me soon [by that i mean NOW! hehehehe] didn't buy much in the end..most of the other stuff was doujinshi and merchandise..of coruse i wanted more merchandise but...musn't spend too much >_<
in the evening i had a bbq-christmas party to go to. it was a youth gathering thing and i almost decided not to go but, i'm glad i did. it was fun.. :) when i got there, they were about to start the ice breakers so almost immediate action! we did the lining up according to whatever-the-leader-decides game..[in which i discovered i was the only 17 year old there..0_o] very funny stuff..when we finished, the food was just about ready so, what else? tuck in! didn't eat much of the main course but was greedy with Esther's cookies.. >D and since i was absent from church for 3 weeks [and even longer from saturday youth], much interogation from friends..heh..oh, and what is a christmas party without carols? we sang four carols and was supposed to wake the neighbourhood with our 'cheer' but unfortunately i doubt we were quite so loud.. :p finally went back around 10pm. really happy with the ammount of catching up i got to do. [not done yet though.. >_<]
Sunday...isn't complete without church. i admit that. it does not feel good to sleep in on a Sunday knowing you're missing service. well, to me that is. Cerlyn gave me a pair of dragonfly earrings and Esther gave me a pencil with a wooden bear haed on top for an early Christmas present so was pretend-bonking everyone on the head with the pencil.. >D by the time service is over and we get back from lunch sessions [you know, the ones where the adults are having their gab fest, thankfully two other youths were there..lol] it's already 3pm. i didn't realise i was quite so tired until i fell asleep for two hours [must be all those late nights i had in the past week]. and now, i've just got back from another early Christmas party..this time organized by a homecell member. he apparently loves to cook so he offered. and this time around, we got a big bowl of seafood porridge each for dinner. man, was i full..and before that, we were having fun with the ice kacang machine outside so, already ate 'dessert' before the main course.. =_=' kyaa..am tired. shouldn't be blogging now really but, couldn't resist the mood to write.. ^^
anyway, i won't be home for Christmas so Merry Christmas in advance everybody!! ^_^

late update
a late post on what happened the day after my screwed up Public Speaking.
classes were on as usual but ended at about 1 so me and two other friends head back to the hostel to get some rest before going for PS. i was freaked but not frozen..kinda like, i have to get this right and yet i'm not in a panicky mode.
fast forward, we get back to college and sit in the canteen to wait for 4 o' clock [the second session] cause she's not taking anymore people in the first session. me and my friend practise on each other and for some reason, i can't seem to talk properly but that's how i am with public speaking.
four o' clock comes and we head to the lecture hall where she is. she's actually nice to us and three out of five people go before me. she comments that the first girl was reading too much from her notes and i'm afraid she'll say the same for me. i enjoyed my other two friends' talks and am thinking to let the other girl go first when she calls me to go out. i say ok and begin. then she asks me if that was so hard and why wasn't i prepared the first time and did i know i was going to have to speak the first time. i then told her 'no' and said i did think it was my fault. she said she thought so too [lol] but it was an unnessecary bashing i got that day. the last girl speaks and it's end of session. she gets the five of us to pick up stray pieces of trash around the hall then she asks me to carry her books for her to her car. by this time, i'm freaked. she was really mad before and today she's really nice?? ... so anyway, i do that and along the way, she talks to me, asking questions like where am i from, am i happy here because she can see that i am [even scarier..] and then she offers to drive me and my two friends back to the hostel. i don't know what to make of it. not that i hated her before but i was always really scared of her. and now she's made me promise that my second speech will be even better. i only managed to say 'i'll try'. my second speech is doom!! >_<

Kantoi! >_<
I'm at my freezing cold college computer lab again. Was just at Public Speaking class two hours ago where i made a fool out of myself. The topic of our individual presentations was 'Myself' which i did not prepare for and was not expecting to do today. When the tutor called out my name, i nearly got a heartattack! >_<
So, i tentatively went up there and well, i didn't freeze but i don't think and talk on the spot very well either. i guess i took that 'think before you talk' quote a little too seriously when i heard it and this is the outcome. needless to say, i screwed up and the tutor was pretty mad at me. as she was scolding and berating me i just stood there [i nearly smiled but, for the sake of my life, i figured i'd better not] and accepted it and afterwards said "i'm sorry". thankfully, she's willing to give me another chance to redo and present my speech tomorrow at 2.30pm [wish me luck, guys! >_<] and she now remembers my name for the wrong reason...
but the funny thing is, i felt like laughing after the whole 'ordeal' instead of moping..sure, i feel dumb and all but, at the end of the day, it's my fault for not preparing and not taking the initiative. ah well, this is what my screwed up mentality is about..when stuff happens, you laugh your brains out. >p

break time's up
Actually, that's not really how I feel but it describes what's going on. Tomorrow I'm going back to the hostel [new pillow and shoes and my yet-to-be-washed Mashimaro handphone case in tow] and back to classes.. cheers to a new term! lol.. Erm..I just wanted to say this really, for in all the three weeks of my holiday, I've only been busy in my last week.
But, I'm glad. I've met up with Weevern and Al, celebrated Chelle's birthday two days early together with Mel [Tanjoubi Omedetto, Chelle-chan! ^_~] and did a Korean series marathon [it's called 'My Lovely Sam Soon' which I just completed an hour ago..wakaka] Though some warned me of boredom and some showed signs of envy over my break, I guess it's somewhere in between because..

I did not :
1. practise the piano as much as I should
2. get the exercise I said I would
3. go out as much as I planned to >_<
4. attend the church Youth meetings as I intially thought to

Still, I did :
1. meet up with all friends who had space in their tight schedules ^^
2. get lots of 'rest' >p
3. make time to bug my parents [it's a good thing, honest! >D]
4. get to see my aunty who came down last Thursday [she brought the Korean serial ^^]
5. go swimming [once] lol
6. wear a kimono [at the Japanese garden in Bukit Tinggi] ^_^
7. take driving lessons

The last one is just to show I didn't totally squander my 3 weeks.. >p and I listed the wearing a kimono thing cause I always wanted to. Now, that dream shall be replaced by, 'owning a kimono'.. ^^" Ah, but what is life without goals..totally meaningless then. Ano, talking so much just because I'm supposed to leave tomorrow. And early in the morning too..I just wanna say, thanks, guys, for making time for me these past 3 weeks eventhough the timing was pretty bad for most of you and all the best in your exams! Shan, I can't wait to see you again! Take care, everybody!
Ja, oyasumi!

vic is on the road! @_@
Yep, here comes another road menace! *laughs maniacally/hysterically* I'm so sorry for those who drove behind me today and were delayed in getting to their destinations. I would love to have gone faster but alas, my current capacity does not allow.. :p
I've been given a word of caution from my instructor to keep to my side and not allow the test guy to have a major heart attack as i accidentally veer towards the yellow line. [wakaka] Also, I now have an inkling of how much people hate traffic jams and why those who were stuck in the 'manual cars only' times suffered so much. Controlling that sutpid clutch is hell! >_<>p Hai! I'm done warning everybody now so, be careful on the road and if you see me but I look all tense [or worse, smiling maniacally] and don't wave back, please forgive and give me lots of space.. ja! ^_^

just swirl away
I was sitting in my room with the music on louder than usual. It's 'Lifehouse' and I like the sad-maloncholic music they make. This is like trying to drown out all my thoughts just so I don't have to think anymore, don't have to hear the world.
Now, I'm listening to 'Jasmin' which shall be followed by 'Amrita'.

It's confirmed that I can't bargain. I can find the cheapest shop at which to purchase an item but I won't know how to haggle the price. I don't even know the right way to open the conversation. [Yeah, in haggling, even the very first thing you ask them is important.] So that's just how plain dumb I am. Haha. I won't mince words this time. Just wanted to throw that thought off somewhere.

Random event : I got a new teddy bear! ^_^"

gear up, gear down
gears aside, I now have a small insy-wincy lil problem...parking! T_T Not that it's so supremely difficult but my neck hurt this morning from having to look over my shoulder all the while I reverse parked that small Kancil! >_<
Pathetic, I know. Whining about something like driving in an everyday blog [which I don't even update that often..teehee]Coupled with the fact that I'm still puzzled over why I'm less than enthusiastic about "finally" getting to 'touch the steering wheel'..haha. Must be proof of my ultimate childishness, still wishing to be driven around forever? [or relying on my dear old bike ^^] That, and I'm lazy. Seeing that I'm home now, I always have this idea of lazing around and not doing anything in particular. Particularly anything with a schedule that does not involve a mall or chitchats..heh.. yes, childish and lazy.
But, don't worry! I have not knocked anyone over despite what my intructor must believe were my 'attempts' as I swerved close to parked cars..those damned cars, now I curse them for jutting out onto the road, IN MY WAY! lol..as if I owned the road.
Aim for the lisence, aim for the lisence.. Don't know how many more hours to go. T_T

Tadaima [I'm home]
Yes, I really am home. Two weeks away from college. Two weeks away from my hostel life which I've actually come to love. Madness, isn't it? Lol. I smiled and laughed with my roommate as she said how good it was that I could go home early, my exams having ended a week or more earlier than hers. But now I'm here, I don't know. It's a little hard adjusting to the fact that I'm not on my own anymore. [I'm so darn moody! >_<] Ah, well..at least I've got you guys here [hugs] ^_^ Don't worry, a little more lepaking around and I'll be back to normal.
Now, three days into my holiday, I'm taking driving lessons. I'll just chronicle out the whole boring process, shall I?

Sunday > spent morning from 8am - 12pm listening to a long and tedious [often repetetive] lecture. From noon til 3pm, the so called 'practical', listening while another guy shows us parts of the engine that need to be maintained. The last 15 minutes, I'm encouraged to 'treat driving like a roller coaster' by a eccentric temporary insructor from the center.

Monday > started driving lessons with my proper instructor from 4.30pm - 5.30pm. Kept gripping the gear clutch[is that what it's called?? @_@"] the wrong way. Seemed to irritate my instructor.. ^^" gomen ne... and my reaction time is quite too slow. >_<

Tomorrow, I'm supposed to go for another session at 10am. Not feeling very enthusiastic though, at the moment. Odd, isn't it? When most kids really want to drive [or learn how to] at this age, I treat it as a necessity but am annoyed at my slow progress [I aim to learn how to speed.. ^.^'] Ano...wish me luck and pray I don't knock over more kids then necessary! ;p Ja!

Who's Your Sohma Guy?


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.


I still get Yuki! muahahaha! >p
Sorry, randomness..felt like doing quizzes again..and since this one has a lovely piccy to it.. ^_^
On a totally unrelated topic, 'Confidence' by Changin' My Life is really good..and Yuki Kajiura doesn't disappoint with 'You Are My Love' from Tsubasa Chronicles.
Ja! ^^

Merdeka at KLCC
Happy Merdeka, everyone! well, to all Malaysians anyway..heh. As it happens every year, there were countdowns, concerts and parties all about town last night. I and my friends, however, had to pick the most un-happening of spots : KLCC. Why is it un-happening? Well, it had plenty to do with the crowds of the more barbaric of our kind. Not that I grudge these people their right to celebrate our National Day but, seriously, do some of these idiots also have the right to use the "National Day celebrations" as an excuse to molest girls? That's what happened to a friend of a friend of mine after which that friend advised us not to go into the crowds.
I was disgusted and of course we unanimously decided not to brave the crowds despite the fact that there was a concert going on. Instead, our guy friends took it upon thwmselves to bring us on a nice long walk around the block to the area behind KLCC where it was less crowded and we were unable to see the concert [duh] but managed to watch the fireworks. The fireworks were pretty but i wouldn't describe them as out of the ordinary...just pretty...^_^
After the fireworks, we went down to Sungai Wang where the party was pretty much over. The chaos of trash and empty confetti cans that met us showed me instantly we were at the wrong bash. Dang! >_< But anyway, for a first time outing on Merdeka, it's not too bad..and anyway, I'll know where to avoid next year..haha..oh, and I forgot to mention, we kinda missed the last train out so we had to take a taxi back to the hostel..man, I was dead tired by then. Didn't realise I had more stamina then my friends though.. now I know...and now I'm tired..heh.. enjoy! ja! U_U

What, you're here already?
'Time flies' is a cliche only because it is true to almost everybody. I can't quite believe three months of college have just gone by and that my first semester is about to end. The temporary tattoo, souvenir of my BM presentation about two months ago, is still around my ankle though it's fading and i'll probably remove it today or soon. Things like that, surprise me cause for me when I first put the tattoo on I was like, 'be careful with it, try not to rub against it' and stuff.. day to day it's been like this and now, those days have accumulated into two months.
This is what I've become from the freshie who was freaked out at the mere thought of having to do a BM presentation. I've gone throught that [that doesn't mean I've got over my stage-fright phobia though.. -_-'] and I've danced in front of quite a number of people to get my 2 credit hours for curriculum...I've lived on my own through weekdays and listened to enough Tamil music to be able to say, 'yes, my music is truly diversified' [come on, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, English, Tamil and a smattering of Malay not enough for you? lol..] But all in all, I believe I'm still me. I'm still the kid who in walking in the rain to college one day, soaking wet and promising not to sing again [haha], cheered herself up at the sight of a little frog. Yeah, still mad and that's the essence of me.. ^_^
Exams are drawing nearer. Next Thursday, to be exact. I need to study...it's freaky how little I know even after all this time.. so, take care guys, hope to see you again soon! ja! ^^

reality, reality
I've got to get more real with myself. Half the time, I know what I type here doesn't seem to be quite well..real. It's readable some of the time, yes but narrative? down to earth? I don't think so. But what the heck, I don't seem to be growing up anytime soon and I seriously doubt I'm going to be an 'aspiring writer' so, the style I'm using now hardly matters. Does it?
My thoughts will be a little scattered in this post as I'm hopping from blogging to Gaia to my assignment [pretty much abandoned I'm sorry to say] and yes, I have quite a short attention span. Gaia. It's this online forum thingy that requires you to create a little avatar for yourself so you become part of a 'little' avatar community. Why did I join it? I'm not sure myself. Must be that bored. Anyway, I've gone through a mass com test, two economics and accounts coursework test respectively and a bm presentation. That's just for the record. Will not elaborate further as presentation was nothing to shout about if not worth mentioning at all - my public speaking skills are that bad..haha.
I leave to start yet another week at college tomorrow! Pray I am shall not be cloned into one of them by the time I'm out.. 0_o
Ja! Oyasumi...

i want to draw
At the moment, I can honestly say I'm going crazy. I don't believe it's the so called 'pressure' of next week's presentation or even the 'anxiety' of another week ended. Yes, in five minutes it will be tomorrow. I will be setting out for college and resuming what I left behind last Saturday. To say I'm tired would be correct but inadequete. I don't feel tired or exhausted only, maybe a little drained. Of what, I've yet to find out.
For once, I'm not talking to anybody. I've left my messenger off. I want to talk but not that way, I guess. Not tonight. Like I said, I'm going crazy. Not in the right sense of mind to chat properly. Meh, this is not helpful.
So! I'll just say how I've shamefully abandoned this blog while others have let their's flourish. Alas! My literary abilities seem to have abandoned me. How tiresome. Therefore, whosoever reads this is forced to sit through roughly a paragraph of boring accountings of my memories for the past..um..nevermind how long.
Last Thursday, I finally went on a ramble of KL. We were actually on a quest to quench our thirst for the knowledge of body art for aforementioned presentation. Went quite well, actually. I even got a free mehendi pattern drawn around my arm during an interview with the lady who owns an indian bridal shop. Was also sorely tempted to get a tattoo but, the price made it a goal currently unreachable.. T_T as for piercings..I did briefly consider getting a second piercing but then decided against it. Too troublesome for one..and my last piercings didn't heal to rapidly either. Snapped a few shots against scenic KL background for my friends but unfortunately, windows XP service pack2 is being an a** and won't let me install my camera program so am unable to upload photos and send them over. This is by no means a graceful ending but, I'm running short of time and have suddenly realised I still need to finish the work that has been staring me in the face for the full hour I've been slacking now. Will update next time.. haha.

I'm a big big girl in a big big world..
haha..yeah, I'm back from that big bad old hostel! nah, just kidding. It's not that bad really once I get over all the homesickness and stuff. [What am I talking about??? Taking a shower there stinks! No place like home! >p] So! I was there since last Monday. I spent my first night there and boy, was I homesick! Pretty sad, huh? Tuesday was the first day of my orientation. That's when they taught us freshies the 'welcome clap' reserved specially for the entrance of the board members of our college. Kinda sent me reeling back into primary school days..lol. Oh, and on this first day, I was silly enough to leave a vital document in my hostel room and so had to walk all 10 minutes back to get it. >_<
Well, once orientation was done it was back to the hostel for me. Not the best place to hang out alone cause after a while, even someone like me starts getting a leetle claustrophobic. Basically, it kinda felt like jail. :p I brought one story book which I must've picked up and put down a dozen times [and more!] because, much as I love reading and much as I like that book, how long can I take to read it ?[not to mention re-read!] So that's the most boring, sickening day of this week, I guess. haha..first time away from home with no friends, no computer and no television [which I had become *so* dependant on during my "break"]
Had a free day on Wednesday. Decided to go along with a friend to get all our student IDs and whatsoever stuff done. But first, I had to go get some passport sized photos. My poor friend was dragged all the way down to the nearest shops with me.. ^^' In the end, we managed to get back to the college by about 10am and get it all done by 12 noon. By then, she left to go watch a movie with her boyfriend so I was bored. Again. Lol. Oh yeah, thanks to everyone who messaged me on this day! It was very encouraging! ^_^ Yeah, Chelle, I did go on to KLCC in the end. I love the people who put Kinokuniya there! ^.^ They were my saving grace..lol! And I now confirm that I love trains more than buses eventhough the bus driver was nice enough to send me back to the college though I was on the wrong bus, I think..heh.. ^^" Anyway, I hope I'll be a little better with bus numbers and stuff but, knowing me, it'll take a few more trips and a few more times of getting lost.. -_-'
What do you know! 'Lepak therapy' really works for a loiter-addict like me. It actually cured my homesickness [somewhat] and I felt much better by Thursday. ^_^ Thursday was also a free day for me so I acted as a "tour-guide" for two of my friends, who are from out of town, on a trip to Jaya Jusco! [me, tour-guiding..hahahahaha..] This time, we tried out the college bus and wasted half and hour waiting for it. Sigh. Nothing much to say, except they got the mini-boiler they wanted.. >D
And..Friday, I'm in love! lol..not really..but I'm home! ^_____^ I missed everything so much and the thought of Saturday classes and the ammount of time I'm going to be away makes me miss it more.. T_T But since I'm home now, I shall make the most of it. When I'm there, I'll try to rely on Cyber-cafe's to provide me with the much-needed internet but til then, I may enjoy.. :D Ja! All the best, guys!

a moment to untie the mask
I should be tired. But I'm not. Last Friday, my mom recieved a call from one of my aunts with the news that my grand-uncle had passed away. I was playing the piano till the call came. And all I remember feeling is like I did the last time. Detachment. I don't believe it. This life is not my own.
Reality hit me that night when we went to his home and the first sight that greeted me was the scene of a chinese memorial service. The sound of Taoist ritual music. Then there were all these relatives I'd hardly seen all these years. I just found it sad that it takes a funeral to bring everyone together.
To say that I wasn't and am not sad about this would be a lie. Yet, my lack of tears shed made me question my self.

I don't think I'll continue. But don't worry, guys, life is still normal on this end.

-Forgetting isn't removing a memory, it's just what we don't think about or dwell upon- just a thought.

udpdate!
Since I haven't updated in such a very long time, let me describe a wonderfully unplanned Monday from my fascinating life! Let's see, the morning was spent on finishing up chores previously abandoned during the weekend. At about 2pm, my dad 'invited' me for a nice drive up to KL to pick up my aunt from Singapore. Hmm..ok, sounds good, pick her up, get back home and delve right back into the wonderful bliss that doing nothing brings. Everything went as planned, we picked up my aunt in a mere 30 minutes or less and then after a bit of small talk in the car, they decided that it would be more convenient to drive straight to the hospital so my aunt could visit my grand-uncle [who is suffering from colon-cancer, those who have the time are welcome to pray for him, thanks.] and at the same time meet my other aunt there so she can pass her some letters. Still not too bad. I mean, I don't mind visiting my grand-uncle.. so time spent there is alright. We wait, and wait a little more and my other aunt shows up! So, we linger there awhile more and try to help out a little [entertain my grand-uncle and help him get stuff he needs] after all, the hospital environment is depressing. All you see is plain colours around you, nothing seems remotely familiar or comforting [made me wish I could re-paint the walls or something. Maybe stick glow-in-the-dark stickers on the ceiling.. heh] By the time they decide to leave, it's about 5pm, I've as good as missed my Thai series anyway so, oh well. Then my aunt from Singapore mentions she's hungry and the other aunt asks if we want to go visit her place. Ok, another little reroute, we go pick up my grand-aunty and go for erm...tea? Yeah, I ate but I got the feeling afterwards that I shouldn't have..lol. But I liked the iced tea from that place. They put condensed milk in it, something I haven't tasted in a while.. ^^ Oops! It starts to rain and we didn't bring any umbrellas with us. Now we wait and the adults start talking about taxpaying. I was listening but it just makes me think I do NOT want to think about it til I have to.. @_@
The rain finally stops and we drop off my aunt and grand-aunty before heading off to find our way home. So confidently we went! Alas, roads are more confusing than we think and so we spend the better part of our time figuring out which way to turn to get home. This time, I've missed my 6 o' clock TVB series and part of my 7 o' clock one as well. Oh look, the tank is low..let's stop by a petrol station. Don't worry, we're relatively near home now. And so I arrive home close to 7pm. Boy, am I tired...

Oh yeah, on the brighter side, I got an mp3 player! ^_^v

a whole lotta roadsigns i never knew existed
nah, i just never really paid attention before, that's all. probably seen them along the road but never really cared. wonderful citizen, i know. ;)
this morning, i got up at 7am to make it to my friend's place where the driving instructor would pick us up at 8am. the place is at PJ, we got there on time with time to spare even after doing all the registration business.
I'm only thankfull because the lecturer i got for the 5 hours of "hell" so-called, made it pretty bearable. a funny guy, really nice. kept injecting doses of his own anecdotes here and there, life experiences and such..lol. but still, 5 hours is a long time to spend listening to one topic straight with your butt on a hard chair >_<
and since i chose to sleep late the night before, i was under a bout of yawn-attack. you know, every 5 minutes, *yawn* i think i'm getting pretty known for this.. bad... T_T
nevermind that, anyway, five hours was over and thankfully, again, it started about 20 minutes late with a half hour lunch break. shh..i am supposed to have done 5 hours.. :p by the time i got home, [with a little dilly-dallying in between..time flies when you're doing nothing usefull] it was about 3pm. i only planned to rest lying on my bed a little while but, konked out for 2 hours.. kyaa..was tireder than i thought.
now, i'm finishing off my day typing this after having watched 'The In-Laws'. Great movie..really funny. should let you guys watch it.. :)
*yawn* ja! oyasumi....*yawn*

who i am, i am
elo! i realize the time frames are getting wider and wider in between my posts mostly because i either am simply not inspired to type or am not in the mood [which may add up to the same thing to some].
that settled, my dad was driving me home today and we passed my old school. opposite the school, that faithful food vendor/van was parked, catering food for those who stayed back after school or played basketball in the evenings. my dad asked me if it was there always to which i agreed then erupted into minor complaints about the school canteen and how they would not cater to us on weekends when we had co-curriculur activities. somewhere along my train of thought came a memory of my primary school headmaster. a very nice man, i'd never heard him shout. when he retired, i remember the occasion and how sad most students and teachers were but that's not really the point today. the point is, not long after his retirement, we saw him serving the students at the school canteen. i remember this because i felt very awkward as to whether to call him 'cikgu'[teacher] as i used to or 'pak cik' [uncle]..heh. all this just made me wonder if the current headmistress of my ex-highschool would ever do the same - serve in the canteen, that is. i can't picture it and somehow, it made me respect that retired headmaster from my primary school even more. so much for nostalgia.. :)
leading on, i have been doing nothing much but playing a computer game [occasionally.. *looks innocent*] and downloading music and manga lately. oh, and settling my college stuff. sheesh, it costme a little irritation for a while but now it's done! [i hope -_-] now to resume on my usual existence! ^^ ja!

living in the dark theatre
yeah, i wish! lol..but considering how backward i usually am in the circle of moviegoers, 3 movies watched in a week seems not bad effort at all to me.. :D [self praise is no praise~] Anyway, i recommend 'Hitch', a hilarious romantic-comedy. no spoilers here but, just watch it even if you don't like romance ^_~
Finally saw 'Constantine', i liked it but it would have been better if i'd caught it on the big screen. instead, it was sadly viewed through a badly copied dvd :S bummer. down with all lousy pirating! [if you're going to make money pirating, do it properly!!] right, no points for me anywhere with the kementrian here no more..woops! ;P
Erm...what else did i catch? right, since it was my brother's birthday, we took a trip to Times Square and caught 'Lemony Snicket:Tale of Unfortunate Events'. Not a bad effort but not one of my favourites either despite all the rant about the wonderful views it takes you through. Nope, my highlight of this day is, i finally found Arena Komik issue 2!! ^_^ i guess i know where to come back to next month.. >D

o-kay! anyway, i've been kinda obsessed with that Numa Numa song as of yeterday.. ^^" nope, never really was a big fan of dance tracks but that one's really catchy..*dances Numa Numa* :p Getting so lazy nowadays. not having a proper schedule is turning my life upside down after all..kinda. yeah, then when i get to college, i'll complain bout not having enough free time. just can't win, can you? ^_~" kay, gonna go now. Ja!

Another notch up
yesterday, SPM was officially over for me.. we finally collected our results and emotions ran amok. tears of joy, disappointment, frustration and loads of others flowed freely from some. others caught up with one another or discussed plans for the future. i was of the latter. that may have been the last time i set foot in that geometrically square 'house of learning'. or at least the last time i would meet so many people from my batch there. the next time i met most of them will probably be at college functions or perhaps even further in the future at work, each with our own jobs. [speaking of which, i terminated my contract last wednesday, day before i went to collect my results..i'm technically free now.. ^^]
anyway, my own results were nothing to shout about. i suppose i did moderately well though a few might wish to point out their mediocrity. but, in the perspective of the question a discerning friend posed to me, 'are you satisfied?' i can honestly reply, 'yes, i am.' nothing too great, yet the two years spent in learning which led up to this has not been wasted. it has broadened my perspective if not my interest in science.. [hopeless, i know..lol ^_~]
i tasted a little of how it was to be "on-my-own" in a sense and surviving two years, i hope some sliver of maturity has been knocked into me [not! >D]well, nothing more to say accept, i've got my credits to get into college [lol] i'll be weighing out my choice of courses again [praying hard to make the right desicion] and hoping to stay in touch with all you guys!
hey, CONGRATULATIONS ALL OF YOU! you guys did really well..i'm so proud.. ^^
i wish you guys all the best and [once again *rolls eyes at self*] thanks so
much for all the support! make your desicions, get into college of uni,
do your best and, if you need to unwind a little, do call.. ^_~ ja ne!

of spring cleaning and mandarin oranges
i'm the last person to say anything about spring cleaning cause i've hardly been any help at all, especially this year. still i chaffe everytime i feel i've been robbed of some, or all, of my computer time each day. *hugs computer* i miss these moments..heh ^^
this chinese new year's eve i'm not doing much in particular. we'll be having a steamboat dinner afterwards [homedone not restaurant ^_~] just my immediate family...all about family reunion and togetherness isn't it, all these traditions? this year, i'm not going to dwell on it considering my less than celebratory mood since last christmas. Anyway! Happy Chinese New Year to all of you, whether you're celebrating it or not! ^_^
ano...i don't really have much elseto say. that was my sole reason for this post, really. to wish all of you a happy CNY and to give some indication i'm alive, i guess after that "near-death" experience last friday.. X_x lol! no, seriously, boredom kills..! you know those passing remarks about getting paid to sit on your ass all day? well, it kinda happened and it's *not* as great as you might think! rotting away for almost the entire day in an icebox [ooh, they even preserve your corpse!lol >_< i'm kidding!] is not good for your mental health... ok, time to store that not-so-great memory in my little library of memories.. ^^ nothing more now, *toasts everyone wih shandy* ja ne!

haii..wakateru [yes..i know]
chotto matte kudasai [plaese wait a moment]
Tadaima! lol..i know, i know..a sudden burst of "too many" japanese words but i kinda felt like it today ^^" why are there two titles this time? well, i just felt that both pretty much sum up most of my thought vocab for the past week or so when asked or told to do chores..-_-" aside from that, it has no real significance so, please pay no more attention to it.. >D
after being 'gone' for that little..um..period of time(?), what have i been up to? well, like i mentioned in my last post, i've been working [tedious..now i know some of the working life..lol] and not having any inspiration for drawing up til last week [yay! ^_^] and before that i was trying to work on my little fanfic but it seems to have put itself on hold now so sigh.. and last weekend, my cousins from Penang came down. Was happy to see them but i missed Jessie's birthday...and so though she won't see this, Happy birthday, Jessie! heh..
anyway, about my cousins last Saturday, we met up at my other cousin's house which is in Klang, dumped all "kids" [15 and below and all guys] in the house while the adults and my other cousin went shopping at Jaya Jusco [whee..that sounds like something i wrote in primary school T_T] and all i want to say about that trip is, i got two blouses and a pair of earrings all for below 30 dollars! >D yes,i'm easy to please..[sometimes] hehe.. that's also because i haven't felt that shoppermania exhiliration in a while.. *_*
on a saner note, that Saturday was also the Saturday that Sho boarded a plane back to NZ.. >_< e-mail often,k, Sho?? i miss you!!
on a sidetrack, i've watched animes 'Sakon' and 'Lament of the Lamb' courtesy of Mel. Arigato gozaimas! me likes 'Lament of the Lamb'... it's a short but interesting and rather deep "series" [four episodes] with and abstract feel to it. lovely ending song too.. ^^ might start watching Gilgamesh today if i have extra energy to stay up..heh.. guess that's all.. ja! sayonara!

p/s - no work on Friday! yeah! ^_______^

new beginning..?
First day of the new year. Happy New Year, everyone... congratulations, we survived 2004. Well, to my friends, i'm glad to have known you guys! Life wouldn't have it's bright colour without you and though all these sounds really cheesy, i'm keeping it here anyway [while resisting the strong urge to press down on that 'backspace' button] cause i guess i do need [and want] to let you guys know what a difference you make time and time again. thanks.. :)
And speaking of colouring life, 2004 has become another chapter to add to my life. It is by no means just another chapter to me cause, after all, i believe it to be the year out of which i learnt the most. A lot of 'growing up' came out of this year and though i may not like it and hate to exit that rainbow bubble of childhood i stayed in for so long, i guess it was waning away, as bubbles do, and it's time for me to face some of reality. I'm only glad God had the grace to let it to me slowly as stubborn as i am. >_< But once again, the question comes up, 'where will i go?' away from the 'haven' that was school [hah!] that's for sure but, now what? The question of colleges/universities still hasn't gone away since i haven't chosen and still stand unsure which path to follow. That's what becomes of being a 'jack of all trades but master to none' in this world where you have to be good or even, better than most to succeed. I don't know...maybe i'm being a tad bit too pessismetic in my views here.
Leaving school meant leaving a world in which you could live with everything dictated for you, your mind blissfully shutting off that need to direct and instead just follow as required in the system. I have drifted in that river too long. Breaking away is almost never easy and it requires a lot of effort which i don't seem to be putting in enough of. Instead, i've taken a job at Mel's aunt's company. Thanks, Mel, though i don't like it much [lol..if they knew my mantra of '$$ dollars, $$ dollars...'] but at least i know what it's like now and yeah, gained some of that 'experience' we're supposed to.. :p
In short, no, i haven't given up on life and what it can yield. Though i won't be able to retain exactly who i was and all that naivete, i believe that me as a person is like an unfinished jigsaw. I'll keep discovering those other pieces as i go along and appreciate them too! ^^ And at the moment, there's still that little nagging question to consider...bugger!
My new year resolution is to realise what i wanna do!!! ^^ Have a blessed New Year.